You heard the rain
by Kirkis
Summary: Angry at herself for causing an accident involving Aoshi, Misao confines herself to her room, refusing to eat. What is it Aoshi said to her to bring her back around?


_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or ANY of the characters therein. Those characters are copyrights of Watsuki Nobuhiro and/or Sony, etc… In short, They aren't mine.   
**http://www.geocities.com/kirkis_elf/kirkisIndex.html   
kkisblpeen@aol.com**_   
  
**About last night…**

  
  
Misao stared blankly at the white bandages on her hands for the five thousandth time that day. She could barely remember what had happened, but she could remember enough. She remembered Okina letting her have some saké for the first time. She remembered drinking at least one bottle, maybe more. She remembered finding the fireworks Okon had bought to set off, and… she remembered nearly blowing her hands off… If Aoshi hadn't… She let her bandaged hands come to rest on her thighs, sagging her head. It had been a long night, and Misao hadn't slept. Her thoughts lingered on the events of two nights ago.   
  
The doctor had scolded her enough while treating the minor burns on her palms. But even that didn't hurt as much as overhearing his diagnosis of Aoshi's injuries. _***"I don't know if he'll ever see again, and his hands were burned worse than the young miss', and he suffered severe injuries to his eyes. the chances of a full recovery are very slim."***_ Misao tried desperately to block out those words, evil words, Aoshi-Sama never seeing again, not being able to use his hands? Most of all, she wanted to forget that it was _her own_ fault.   
  
_"if I hadn't drank any saké this wouldn't have happened."_ She repeated in her mind again. The sounds of birds could be heard from outside, people walking by in the street below. But Misao was oblivious to them. Omasu slid the door open, Misao stiffened.   
  
"Misao Chan, I brought you something to eat, you must be very hungry." She said as she carried the tray in and sat it beside Misao. "It's your favorite Misao cha-"   
  
"I don't want it." Misao whispered softly, her voice cracked slightly as she spoke.   
  
"Misao Chan, you must eat." Omasu replied.   
  
"I'm not hungry." Misao said even softer. She stood up and walked to her window taking a seat on the ledge. Omasu stood and followed Misao to the window.   
  
"Misao Chan, It's not good to-"   
  
"Leave me alone!" Misao snapped, looking straight up at Omasu. The sorrow was very much evident on her face, swollen red eyes, long thin lines down her cheeks, it was obvious she'd cried all night long. Omasu conceded defeat and slowly quietly walked out of the room, leaving the food sitting where she'd left it. Misao sat and listened to the birds outside, and the sounds of the footsteps in and around the Aoiya. _"I'm not hungry…"_ She thought, glancing over at the food. _"I don't deserve to eat…"_ She thought, sighing once again, as unstoppable tears ran down her cheeks again.   
  
  
Omasu returned to the kitchen to assemble Aoshi's meal. She now had to more or less feed him, he couldn't see, even though he insisted he could feed himself, Omasu didn't see any need for him to have to struggle just to try to prove he's not hindered. _"He is hindered, without his eyesight, even common tasks can be almost impossible."_ She thought, as she placed the small cup of tea on the tray, and lifted it to carry to Aoshi's room. She stepped up to the door, and announced her presence.   
  
"Aoshi Sama, I'm coming in." She said, sliding the door open. Aoshi sat in the center of the room in his usual cross-legged seated position.   
  
"Omasu," he said softly, breathing in. "Beef and Rice." He said, as she stepped into the room.   
  
"You still have a keen sense of smell Aoshi Sama." She replied.   
  
"You don't have to stay, Omasu." He said, turning his head to face her.   
  
"You can't see Aoshi Sama, how can you eat if you can't see?" She said as she, kneeling and preparing the chopsticks to feed him with.   
  
"Is Misao eating?" He asked. She hadn't eaten for two days, ever since the accident.   
  
"I don't think so, I left the food in her room this time, maybe she'll eat it." Omasu said, lifting a strip of beef to Aoshi's mouth. He reluctantly opened his mouth letting her feed him. After a few silent bites Aoshi spoke again.   
  
"I believe that will be enough for now." He said to Omasu's dismay. He hadn't eaten much, and she'd cooked it especially for him and Misao. She set the utensils down on the tray and picked up the teacup.   
  
"Omasu," Aoshi started after a few sips of Tea.   
  
"Yes Aoshi Sama?"   
  
"Can you ask Misao to come here please, I want to talk to her." He said.   
  
_"He looks almost more at peace like this,"_ Omasu thought. "Alright, Aoshi Sama." She said, withdrawing from the room with the half eaten meal. Aoshi sat quietly in the room.   
  
  
"Misao Chan," Omasu said, sliding the door open. Misao sat by the window, one leg tucked up under her bottom, the other was drawn up close to her chest. "Misao Chan, Aoshi Sama asked to talk to you." She finished. Misao's eyes widened. _"Why would Aoshi ever want to talk to me again?"_ She thought, imagining what he might have to say.   
  
_""Misao, how could you be so irresponsible, you could've killed both of us. What kind of Okashiria are you anyway? You got drunk and made a total ass of yourself, in the process nearly blowing your hands off, and ruining my eyesight.""_ She imagined him saying.   
  
"Misao Chan, are you going to keep him waiting all afternoon?" Omasu said somewhat angrily.   
  
"I…I don't want…" She stuttered.   
  
"What, He asked to see you and you're snubbing him?" Omasu said, astounded by the idiocy of her young leader.   
  
"I'm not feeling well." Misao said, returning her gaze out the window. "Please tell Aoshi Sama that I'm feeling sick." She said softly, fighting to hold her tears in. Omasu, who was past arguing with Misao, gave up and slid the door closed. She slowly made her way back to Aoshi's room, announcing herself before entering.   
  
"Omasu?" Aoshi said in confusion.   
  
"Misao says she is feeling very sick and can't leave her room." Omasu said, embarrassed by having to lie for Misao.   
  
"I see, I need to go to the temple for a while, can you guide me?" He asked.   
  
"Yes Aoshi Sama." She said, softly.   
  
  
Misao wiped away the last remaining tears from her most recent loss of control. She stepped over to the tray and picked up the small cup of tea, gulping it down. It tasted good, but she refused to eat anything, despite the gnawing pains in her stomach. She moved back to the window, it looked out over the street than ran beside the Aoiya, the street Aoshi used to go to the temple to meditate. Very few people walked it. Misao noticed someone walking toward the temple.   
  
_"Who…is that? No, it's two people…"_ She thought, rubbing her swollen eyes trying to get a better look. _"It's… Omasu with…Aoshi Sama! She's leading him to the Temple. He can't even walk there on his own anymore."_ She thought, feeling tears begin to well up in her eyes. This time, she didn't bother to stop them. She collapsed back on the floor.   
  


**Another day of bad memories**   
_***denotes flashback***_

  
  
Misao awoke to the sound of children laughing outside. She pulled herself up and staggered her way to the window. Five children were playing a tag game outside. She stepped back away from the window and felt the all too familiar 'pressure' in her lower abdomen. Using the bathroom was the only thing she left her room for. She checked the hall to see if the coast was clear before leaving the safety of her room, and quietly made her way down the back stairway. At the bottom of the stairs she caught sight of Okina walking toward her. _"Of course he'll have to speak to me, I don't feel like talking."_ Misao thought, looking away from his as he approached.   
  
"Misao, it's good that you're up and about and not moping around like you have been." He said, grinning a sly evil grin. Misao didn't react, she simply walked by. "Misao!" Okina said sternly. She stopped but didn't turn to face him. "You're being really childish about all this, it was your fault for drinking too much, but it was also my fault for letting you drink." Misao still didn't react. Okina waited for a moment to see if she would speak before continuing his one-sided conversation. "Aoshi was asking about you earlier, he said he wanted to speak with you after you woke up." Misao winced a little. "You shouldn't keep your sweetheart waiting too long." Okina laughed terribly until Misao ran from him, tears poring down her face as she ran. "Misao!"   
  
_"Everything is painful now…"_ She ran into the bathroom, bolting the door behind her, and burying her wet face in her palms. _"So I'm being childish, but none of you hurt Aoshi Sama, none of you took his eyes, burned his hands, none of you ruined his life. Jiya you can't possibly understand how I feel. You don't know how it feels to be the cause of someone's misery."_   
  
"Misao was out of her room?" Aoshi asked.   
  
"Yes, but she wasn't very responsive. I think she's still feeling bad about the accident."   
  
"I'm sure your comforting words made her feel better." Aoshi said, sarcastically.   
  
"I only tell her what she needs to hear, she's too stubborn to listen." Okina said in defense. "At any rate, I don't think she'll come and talk to you today either." He finished.   
  
"If she returns to her room, tell Okon I wish to speak with her." Aoshi replied.   
  
  
Once safely back in her room, Misao took to the window again. It was slightly overcast, but it wasn't raining. Misao almost smiled at the similarities between the weather and her mood. Ready to open up with a downpour at any moment. She leaned her head against the window frame, and stared blankly out into the grey outside. The low hum of the crowds outside played like a lullaby on her ears. She slowly drifted to sleep there in the window.   
  
_***"Aoshi Sama, watch this one, it flies." Misao said, holding one of the larger firecrackers in her hands.   
  
"Misao Chan, that one explodes!" Okon yelled, trying to pull herself to her feet. Aoshi was already halfway to Misao.   
  
"Aoshi Sama, it'll be really-" She started, tossing the firecracker into the air a few inches above her hands, Aoshi slid to a stop, and tried to knock the firecracker off to the side. "Beautiful!" she said, looking right at Aoshi. A bang. A flash of light.***_   
  
A clap of thunder awoke her from her dozing. She pulled herself away from the window frame, and wiped away the trickle of unconscious drool from the corner of her mouth. The sky had grown dark, either from the coming of night, or by the huge storm. She couldn't tell, she'd never put a clock in her room. Through what little light there was outside, She saw two figures walking quickly in the direction of the Aoiya. One was leading the other, a woman and a man. The man was being led by the woman   
  
_"Okon, and…Aoshi Sama."_ Misao thought, recognizing them. _"They're coming back from the temple."_ She thought, surprised that tears were not filling her eyes. _"I must not have anymore."_ She thought, looking down in her floor by the doorway. A tray with fresh food and a cup of tea was sitting by the door. She walked slowly over to the door, and knelt by the tray. She ran her thumb around the rim of a bowl of rice, before pushing hard on one side, tipping it over. She picked up the tea and drank it in one gulp, dropping the cup haphazardly on to the tray. _"I don't want to eat."_ She thought again, standing back up. She lay back down in the center of her room, and drifted off to sleep again.   
  
  
"Misao Chan, wake up." Omasu called, shaking Misao as she spoke. "Misao Chan, wake up, the doctor has come to look at your hands." She finished. Misao slowly opened her eyes.   
  
"I don't care about my hands." She said, softly.   
  
"Misao Chan, we have to make sure you're healing, if your hands got infected they would have to be amputated." The doctor said. "I'd hate to have to ask your friends to restrain you." He finished. Misao sat unresponsively for a moment, before finally extending her hands to the doctor.   
  
"That's a good girl." He said, carefully unwrapping the bandages on her hands. "Okina tells me you're not eating. That isn't good, you need strength to recover." The doctor said as he worked. "Ah, you're still healing nicely though. I should only need to wrap your palms." He said, smiling at her. She tilted her head down, shadowing her eyes with her hair. The doctor carefully wrapped her hand as he continued to lecture about how lucky she was to only have such minor injuries. _"Doesn't he realize Aoshi isn't as lucky, and I caused those injuries."_ She thought, biting her lip to hold back tears.   
  
"There, all better." The doctor said, looking up at her. A tear trickled down her cheek. "Now now, there isn't any need to cry…" He said, lifting his hand to wipe away the tear. She quickly turned away, forcing all her tears away with sheer will power.   
  
"If you're through, please leave." She said as loud as she could muster, not being very loud considering her tear softened throat. The doctor reluctantly stood and made his way to the door.   
  
"Omasu…" Misao called softly.   
  
"Yes Misao Chan?" She answered.   
  
"Has the doctor seen Aoshi Sama yet?" Misao asked, tuning her head slightly toward Omasu.   
  
"Yes, Aoshi Sama's hands are healing quickly." She said, gleefully.   
  
"And his eyes?" Misao asked. There was a long pause before Omasu spoke again.   
  
"The burns around his eyes are clearing up." Omasu finally said.   
  
"His vision?" She asked more specifically. Another pause.   
  
"He…still can't see yet." Omasu finally said. Misao sat quietly, waiting for Omasu to leave.   
  
"Aoshi Sama wanted to se…speak with you." She said, Misao winced at the little fault in Omasu's statement.   
  
"I'm still not feeling well, Misao said, lying down in the center of the room. Omasu scrunched up her face and stepped toward Misao.   
  
"When are you going to stop being so childish and talk to Aoshi Sama!" Omasu said angrily. She was almost knocked off her feet when Misao didn't react at all. "I'm not lying for you anymore, I'll tell Aoshi Sama that you are making excuses so you don't have to face him." She paused again, waiting for another reaction. Nothing. Omasu bit her lip, and balled up a fist. "Just because you got drunk and caused an accident doesn't give you the right to mope around because of it. We all know you feel bad about it, but stop being so immature and take some responsibility!" Omasu yelled, planning her next statement. Misao sat up quickly and stared hatefully into Omasu.   
  
"So maybe I am childish, I don't care what you think of me. I took Aoshi Sama's sight in a drunken stupor. I ruined his life, So until you ruin the life of the one man you love more than anything else, don't lecture me on being childish, or Immature!" Misao finished, hurling herself back down to the floor, and quickly pulling the blanket over her head. Omasu stood in the doorway for a moment before turning to leave, sliding the door shut behind her.   
  
_"No one understands me…"_ Misao thought through her tears.   
  


**Somewhere in the middle of the night**

  
  
Misao awoke with a start, throwing the blanket off her head. she sat quietly, dazed, looking around the darkened room. _"Night, it's raining again, but not a storm, steady drizzle."_ She thought. _"Fitting my mood…"_ She concluded her thought noticing a strange presence in the room with her. She glanced around the room, her eyes well accustomed to the darkness, she saw a form sitting in her place by the window. Misao opened her mouth to speak, but the shock of realizing who it was stole her words away from her. _"Aoshi Sama!?"_ She thought, slowly laying back down, trying not to be noticed.   
  
"The rain is soothing isn't it." His voice spoke softly, all the same, Misao nearly jumped out of her skin. She couldn't even think of what to say. _"What can I say, how do I speak to a man whose life I've ruined?"_ She thought.   
  
"Misao, will you come here, please." He said in his normal monotone soft-yet-stern voice. Reluctantly, she rose to her feet and walked, shaking, over to the window. Along the way she mustered up enough courage to speak to him.   
  
"Aoshi Sama," She started, he bit his lip to keep from gasping at the frailty in her voice. She hadn't eaten in three full days, and all that crying had taken a lot out of her. "I'm… I'm s…sorry…I…" She struggled for words.   
  
"Sit here Misao." He said, interrupting her. She sat, obediently, still not knowing what to say. "Close your eyes Misao." He said. She examined the bandages surrounding his eyes, covering the wounds she'd caused. "Misao, close your eyes please." He repeated, to her shock.   
  
_"How did he know I hadn't closed my eyes?"_ She thought, closing her eyes.   
  
"Tell me what you hear," He started. "and don't just say rain." He added. She opened her eyes in surprise.   
  
"What else is there than rain?" She thought.   
  
"Close your eyes, and listen." He said, turning his head away from the open window, and aiming it directly at her, as if he could still see. Her eyes widened in surprise. _"Can he still see somehow?"_ She thought, closing her eyes again. _"Close my eyes and tell him what I hear."_ She thought, listening intently. _"All I hear is rain."_ She mentally concluded. _"Rain falling, on the street, the rooftops, the…"_ She thought, suddenly realizing just how many sounds were out there amidst the rain.   
  
"What do you hear Misao?" Aoshi asked again.   
  
"Rain," she started. "falling on the roofs, on the street, in puddles," She said, pausing. "on the umbrella carried by the person below. I hear the rain falling on the ground, I hear it falling on the trees." She said, straining to hear more for him. "I hear frogs, I hear water running off the rooftops." She said, slowly realizing why Aoshi asked her to close her eyes and listen.   
  
"Aoshi Sama, I know why you're doing this. To tell me that even if you can't see anymore, you can still hear. But, that's still no reason for me to feel better, I still took your sight. In one stupid moment, I took away part of your life. If you never get that back, it's all my fault." She said, pausing. "I know Jiya, Omasu and the other's think I'm being childish. You probably feel the same, but I can't stand to think I've hurt you. I guess by not eating I've been punishing myself. I suppose that is pretty childish, especially for the Okashira." She continued, turning her head out to face the rain.   
  
"I know acting like this has been very selfish of me. I'm sorry for that too. I still don't feel good, and I still don't want to eat, but If you want me to eat, I will. And if you want me to stop hiding in my room I will do that too. I'm very sorry for the way I've been acting. I've…I've been acting like I was the one who lost their sight." She said, turning to face Aoshi and opening her eyes. Misao sat there in confusion. Aoshi wasn't seated beside her anymore. She stood from the window and made her way out of the room and down the hall. In the dark, she found her way to Aoshi's room, and quietly slid the door open.   
  
_"Aoshi Sama is lying in bed…was it an illusion?"_ She thought, staring into the room for a moment before turning and heading back to her own room. _"Was it an illusion? I confessed myself to an illusion? I confessed…"_ She thought, remembering what she had said in her room to no one. _"To no one but myself…"_ She thought, as she slumped back down in the floor. She slowly drifted back to sleep.   
  


**No one but Misao**

  
  
The warm sunlight streaming through the open window slowly coaxed Misao out of her slumber. She sat up feeling a gnawing in her belly. _"Same as before…only"_ She thought, feeling a twinge in her tongue and nose. _"my appetite?"_ She thought, as she inhaled the nourishing odor of rice cooking. She pulled herself up off the floor, and slid the door open. _"So fast, I didn't check to see if there was anyone out here?"_ She thought, as she walked slowly down the hall. _"Everything smells so good."_ She thought, carefully going down the stairs. She hadn't eaten for four full days, and she was getting rather weak. Okon was the first to notice her.   
  
"Misao Chan, are you going to be joining us today?" She said, hopefully. Everyone else turned to see what her reaction would be. she didn't respond, but slowly took a seat at the table. Omasu filled a bowl full with rice, and a small plate with some steamed vegetables.   
  
"Here Misao Chan, I hope it tastes good." She said, setting the food in front of her. Misao slowly picked up her chopsticks and broke them*, almost everyone in the room smiled. Misao carefully took to eating the rice first. The more she got in her mouth, the faster she seemed to put more in.   
  
"It's about time you started eating again, I was afraid you were gonna get even scrawnier than you already were." Okina said, finishing with a rude-old-man laugh. The small rice bowl still half full flew across the table, smacking him directly in the face.   
  
"Omasu San," Misao said, through gritted teeth. "I need more rice please." She finished.   
  
"At least it's good to see that Misao Chan has her spirit back." Okon said, picking rice off Okina's face.   
  
  
Misao heaved a sigh of contentment as she finished her meal. She had to admit, not eating wasn't very smart. Eating was an exceptional part of life. She stood from the table with plans to go out, anywhere, it didn't matter.   
  
"Misao." Aoshi said, from behind her almost causing her to lose the food she'd so carefully packed in.   
  
"Aoshi Sama," She said hesitantly, remembering she's talked to an illusion the night before.   
  
"I need someone to walk me to the temple to meditate." He said, not suggesting anyone in particular. Her mouth stalled out. He waited for a moment.   
  
"I guess I can get Okon to go with me." He finally said.   
  
"Wa…I…Aoshi Sama…" Misao said, almost tying her tongue in knots trying to say 'no'.   
  
"What is it Misao?" He started. "Would you like to guide me today." He asked.   
  
"We…I…n……yes." She said, untwisting her tongue.   
  
"Then shall we go?" He said, holding out his hand. Misao looked down at his outstretched hand. _"No bandages."_ She thought, almost smiling in relief that at least his hands are alright. She quietly took his hand, and started out the rear exit toward the temple. They walked quietly for about half the way up.   
  
"You don't talk as much as Omasu and Okon." He said, knowing the usually wasn't the case. Misao didn't know what to say again. She looked up at Aoshi, and sighed. _"I wonder if he'll ever see again?"_ She thought.   
  
"I sent Omasu and Okina to fetch you for this fro the past three days, I guess you've been pretty sick though." Aoshi said, nonchalantly. Misao could've fallen flat on her face at that moment.   
  
_"He wanted me to take him up here the whole time?!"_ She thought, still looking up at him.   
  
"Watch the step." He said, stopping and pulling her hand back before she tripped over the first step leading up to the temple gate. She stopped and stared at the step.   
  
"Aoshi Sama, how did you…" she started.   
  
"You heard the rain last night, But you still weren't good enough to tell when I left." He said, turning his head straight at her. She looked right at him, he wasn't smiling, but for some reason, she could've sworn he was.   
  
"Aoshi Sama, last night… you really came into my room?" She asked. "But how did you get all the way into my room, without waking me, and leave without my hearing you?" She finished.   
  
"There are more senses than just sight." He said, letting her hand go and starting up the steps. "I knew the step was there because I've counted the steps up to the temple before, I knew the way to your room from when you were a child." He said, walking effortlessly up the stairs. "Oniwa Banshu teaches stealth under any condition, including darkness. And I can tell where you're standing by your voice." He said, pausing to look back to where Misao was still standing. "I'm not helpless without my eyes." He said, back to her.   
  
"Then why did you need someone to walk you up here?" She asked, running up the steps behind him.   
  
"I didn't need someone to walk me up here, you needed to walk with me up here." He answered, as she stepped up to the same step he was on.   
  
"I needed to…" She asked."   
  
"Close your eyes." He said, this time she immediately obeyed. "You heard the rain last night, what do you hear now?"   
  
[Read Kirkis' comments~~~~~~>][1]

   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/kirkis_elf/Works/comments/com_heardrain.html



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